Everything my husband does annoys me. The way he jams his fork into his salad, his hair, the messes he leaves around the house. I feel so mean but I am overwhelmed. Got any advice?

A: The old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is hitting home. The pandemic abruptly brought on life transitions, new responsibilities, and too much togetherness. This time is an opportunity to resolve differences.

Ask for what you need, be realistic and specific. Maybe it’s as simple as a half hour daily of solitude.

Be mindful; we’re not processing this pandemic in exactly the same way. Uncertainty is anxiety provoking. Focus on what is within your control. Play nice, try to reframe situations with humor.

Do less talking and more listening. Designate a time each week to share what increased responsibilities need his attention.

Simmer down on assumptions, judgement, and finger pointing. Notice your reactions. Speak in a loving tone. Initiate dialogue on personal space for both of you.

Praise him for the things he IS doing and share them with him daily! Make time to enjoy each other as a couple.

Do the best you can under these circumstances. Be good to one another.

Marla Ruhana, LMSW is a clinical social worker in private practice in St. Clair Shores. She facilitates retreats in Lexington, MI and teaches in the Graduate School of Social Work at Wayne State University. Visit her Web site at www.marlaruhana.com. Ruhana is a member of The Family Center’s Association of Professionals.