Recommended Reading

Man’s Search for Meaning

By Viktor Frankl

Named one of the ten most influential books in America by the Library of Congress, Man’s Search For Meaning is an inspiring read.

Facilitator Notes

This transformative book about survival and resilience from a World War II concentration camp was The Family Center’s first book club selection. Twenty-seven participants gathered at the Whiskey Six conference room to discuss the themes and the contemporary connections.

Victor Frankl (1905-1997) was a psychiatrist, neurologist, and Holocaust survivor. Between 1942-1945 he labored in four different concentration camps, including Auschwitz. His parents, brother, and wife died in the camps. Although he had started to formulate what eventually became Man’s Search for Meaning prior to his imprisonment, he wrote the final draft in nine days upon his liberation from the Turkheim camp. First published in 1946, it was translated into English in 1959. At the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, it had been translated into 24 languages and had sold over twelve million copies. It has been named one of the ten most influential books by the Library of Congress.

Three central themes were identified and discussed with participants: Survival, Meaning and Transformation. Survival: The group put themselves in the existential situation in which Frankl found himself. Detainees gathered in equally naked condition…everyone stripped of everything (no possessions, no social status, no credentials, no identity other than their number and in many cases no family members as so many were immediately culled if deemed too weak or incapable of work). Over 80% of Frankl’s group perished. What were the traits that foretold survival in such stark conditions? Hope or loss of hope seemed to the group central to the possibility of survival in that so many lost hope and inevitably perished. Meaning: The book posited a maxim from Nietzsche: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” For Frankl, the “why” that provided the resilience to bear any deprivation was twofold. He had an unshakeable will to be with his wife again. He also dreamed about teaching the psychology of the concentration camp at his university. The former allowed him to see his spouse in everything (e.g., a bird). The latter allowed him to detach from his condition and keenly observe the experience as a witness. Both imbued him with a relentless resilience. From this theme the group identified various meanings they find that allow them to cultivate resilience. Transformation: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Frankl emphasized that suffering is not necessary for finding meaning, only that meaning can be found even in great suffering. Meaning gives one endurance and can reduce the pain of suffering.

Questions

• Reflect on how the pandemic suffering has revealed a range of responses from strong self-preservation to a protective herd instinct. Can you consider instances within yourself or others where people acted upon the quieter voice for herd protection in the face of the screams for self-preservation?
• Frankl wrote in a 3rd person narrative as an observer, almost as a journalist covering the camps. Do you think this strategy, maintaining some emotional distance, helped him not to embrace suffering? Or, was Frankl bearing witness as a way of drawing inspiration from others as a recognition that life can change?

Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine

By Michele Borba, Ed.D.

THRIVERS is an insightful, science-backed guide that helps parents and educators teach the essential character strengths kids need to become “thrivers” — young people who flourish in a rapidly changing, digitally-driven, and uncertain world.

Facilitator Notes

Today’s children and youth are smarter and more creative than ever before. Much of that is due to the digital era that has allowed them to connect with people and share information all over the world at breakneck speed. At the same time our children are being driven to STRIVE to higher-than-usual achievements, to be more mature than should be expected at their age, and to succeed at all costs. But the cost is their own happiness. Today’s children are more likely to have depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

Thrivers are different: they flourish in our fast-paced, digital-driven, often uncertain world. Why? Dr. Borba combed scientific studies on resilience, spoke to dozens of researchers and experts in the field, and interviewed countless young people from all walks of life, and she found something surprising: the difference between those who struggle and those who succeed comes down not to grades or test scores but to seven character traits that set Thrivers apart – and set them up for happiness and greater accomplishment later in life.

These traits–confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism–allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life. And the even better news: these traits can be taught to children at any age…let us rephrase that to say it is imperative that we teach these skills to our children.

If you have not had the opportunity to read the book already, we encourage you to read it, as it is chock full of practical, actionable ways to develop these traits in children from preschool through high school, showing us how to teach kids how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow.

Questions

The book describes seven Character Strengths essential to achieve peak performance and thrive.

• Which trait do you feel is most essential for children today?
• Which do you consider most difficult to nuture?
• Which trait to you emphasize most in your family? Least?
• Which would you like to emphasize more?
• What would you do to help your child acquire the virtue?
• If you were to rank the seven Character Strengths by importance to children’s abilities to thrive, what would your list be? Why?