The Family Center, in partnership with the Grosse Pointe Public School System, hosted a Digital Citizenship panel discussion. Here are some of the written responses to the moderator’s questions.

On March 4, 2024, The Family Center, in partnership with the Grosse Pointe Public School System, hosted a Digital Citizenship panel discussion featuring Grosse Pointe Woods Municipal Court Judge Theodore A. Metry, Attorney Kevin Sutton, Partner with Miller Johnson and Chair, Education Practice Group, and local therapist and noted specialist on technology’s impact on children’s mental health Nicole Runyon, LMSW. The panel discussed responsible digital citizenship, how to set expectations as a family, consequences that could be faced for failing to comply with standards/expectations, and ways to reinforce positive uses of social media. As a follow up to that presentation, here are some of the written responses to the moderator’s questions.

Considering recent trends in digital communication, what are the most significant changes in teen social media use, and how should parents adapt?

Kevin: Because of recent tragic events, there is a huge focus on any digital communication which might be considered threatening to the school environment.  While most students respond by claiming they were “joking” in the subject message(s), that’s an inadequate response in 2024.  Parents need to stress to their students the impact words transmitted in digital form can have and emphasize that certain topics can’t be “joked” about under any circumstances.

What role should schools play in educating students about digital responsibility in the age of social media?

Kevin: Primary responsibility falls on the parents; they need to be the first line of defense in controlling and monitoring student digital communication.  The schools can (and do) partner with families to make expectations clear for students and to provide resources on what good digital citizenship looks like.

How can parents and educators work together to foster a safer digital environment for teens?

Kevin: That’s a complex and multi-layered issue.  Perhaps the most important thing is not being afraid of the discussion.  We – the adults – have given these devices and digital resources to our children.  If we expect it to be perfectly smooth sailing with no adult oversight, we are fooling ourselves.  We need to have open, candid, and realistic conversations with students about how to use the devices and resources properly and the expectations attached to usage, while modeling what good digital citizenship looks like.  If those conversations are happening at home and at school, the likelihood of a major issue occurring is decreased.

What are crucial legal considerations for parents regarding teens’ social media use?

Kevin: Understanding just how high the stakes are.  Whether it’s criminal implications, suspension/expulsion from school, or the loss of opportunities earned (scholarships, placement on teams, etc.), the consequences for improper or irresponsible digital communications are significant.  Stock justifications of “they are just kids” or “they weren’t serious” simply will not cut it and parents need to understand this and communicate it to their children.

What responsibilities do schools have concerning students’ inappropriate social media actions, and how does the location of these activities (on-campus vs. off-campus) affect this responsibility? Legally, what are the biggest risks teens face today due to their social media activities?

Kevin: The schools’ ability to address communications at school which don’t comport with the standards outlined in the student code of conduct is long-established.  But students and parents need to understand that even off-campus, online conduct can be disciplined by the school in certain circumstances.  If, for example, the off-campus, online commentary is threatening in nature, represents bullying or harassment of others, or otherwise disrupts the orderly operation of the school, there can be consequences, even if the post or message was sent outside of school hours.

What emotional and psychological impacts does social media have on teenagers, and how can parents provide support?

Nicole: According to recent research social media is causing an increase in mental health diagnoses. Jean Twenge found that there is a link between social media use among girls and suicidal outcomes. The more time teens spend looking at screens, the more likely they are to be unhappy.

Boys’ depressive symptoms increased by 21 percent from 2012 to 2015, while girls increased by 50 percent—more than twice as much. The rise in suicide, too, is more pronounced among girls.

Although the rate increased for both sexes, three times as many 12-to-14-year-old girls died by suicide in 2015 as in 2007, compared with twice as many boys.

The numbers continue to rise as we have come out of the lockdowns in 2020 which drove more children on devices and social media.

42% of Generation Z has a mental health diagnosis. The children are not alright, and parents can provide support by not allowing social media until a child is 18. The prefrontal cortex of the brain doesn’t fully develop until age 25. Giving children under 18 social media when they are not ready is the cause of many of the problems we are seeing in Generation Z (1997-2012). When they are closer to 25, they are more ready to manage social media which is highly addictive and causing depression and suicidal outcomes. 

How can parents differentiate between typical teen social media usage and indicators of mental health concerns?

Nicole: If your teen sleeps with the device, is on said device into the night and lacks sleep as result that is a huge indicator that there is a mental health concern.

Another concern is the addictive nature of social media. Many teens have become addicted to social media because the algorithms are designed to keep you on for as long as possible. It does such things as hold likes and comments until there are a batch up them that sends you the notifications all at once to get a large burst of dopamine. This causes you to want more and stay on it for longer. If your teen is unable to live in the real world due to always interacting online that is an indicator of addiction. Also, if they have a big feeling such as anger when not on the device that is a symptom of withdraw to the addiction.

If your teen is experiencing social anxiety, school avoidance, depression, and lack of attention and focus, these are all indicators that they may be experiencing a mental health issue due to social media.

Can you share effective strategies for educating teens on the long-term consequences of their digital footprint?

Nicole: I no longer work with teens. I work with their parents. I strongly believe that the teens of today have all the information they need to make good choices, they have been properly educated. What is important to note is that 90% of brain development happens before the age of 6. The remaining 10% don’t fully develop until they are 25. That is the pre-frontal lobe of the brain responsible for decision making, executive function and impulsivity. Teens can have all the information, but many of them are going to be too impulsive to remember the information. Especially during middle school when many of them are going through puberty. Hormonal changes affect the way they think as well.

I now coach the parents to work through their discomfort so they can allow their kids to be uncomfortable. A large part of parenting is not acting as your child’s friend but doing the hard thing and saying no to something that isn’t good for them.

We don’t allow teens to drink or do drugs. Social media should be seen the same way. In fact, many states are adopting laws that ban social media to anyone under 18. It’s ok to say no to them. It’s a boundary to safeguard and protect their childhoods.

If they are not on social media, it gives them an opportunity to work through all the discomfort and awkwardness that this age brings. They are at the beginning of identity development and that is the most uncomfortable time in a child’s life. We all remember how awful middle school was. To not have social anxiety and be able to trust themselves, they need to go through that. It’s important that that process is not interrupted, because as we’ve seen in Generation Z it’s to their detriment. Many young people from this generation can’t make a phone call or order from a menu because they don’t know how to talk to people in real life. Those skills didn’t develop because they spent so much time talking to people through a screen.