It’s completely normal for both students and parents to experience anxiety as the school year approaches. A new school year brings changes—new routines, teachers, friends, and sometimes new schools altogether. These changes can be exciting, but they can also be a source of stress for both children and caregivers. How you, as a parent or caregiver, manage your own anxiety and approach these transitions can significantly impact your child’s experience.

Understanding Anxiety in Both Parents and Students

Students may feel anxious about fitting in, academic performance, or the unknowns of a new classroom environment. Parents and caregivers often mirror these anxieties, worrying about their child’s ability to cope, make friends, or achieve academically. When caregivers express these concerns openly, they can inadvertently increase a child’s anxiety, leading them to feel even more overwhelmed. Moreover, it’s common for caregivers to feel exhausted by the end of summer, having spent months juggling work, family, and a child’s summer schedule. Many parents feel the strain of constantly keeping their children occupied, which can lead to frustration and burnout. If a parent expresses sentiments like, “I can’t wait for you to go back to school—I’m so tired of juggling everything,” it can make the child feel like a burden. When children hear such statements, it can negatively impact their self-esteem and make them feel like they’re causing stress or frustration.

The Impact of a Caregiver’s Attitude

A caregiver’s attitude plays a pivotal role in shaping a child’s emotional response to new situations. If a parent expresses worry or frustration, or if they constantly question, “Are you sure you’re ready for school?” or “What if you don’t like your new teacher?”, it can inadvertently signal to the child that there is something to fear. On the other hand, presenting a calm, confident, and optimistic outlook can help children approach the new school year with a sense of readiness and positivity.

What to Say to Encourage Your Child

Instead of focusing on potential challenges or expressing relief about them returning to school, try using positive and supportive language to help your child build confidence. Here are some helpful phrases you can use: 1. “I’m excited to hear about all the new things you’ll learn this year!” This focuses on the positive aspects of school and learning, reinforcing that it’s a place of growth and excitement. 2. “You’re going to have a great time meeting new friends and reconnecting with old ones.” Highlighting social opportunities helps children focus on relationship-building rather than potential social challenges. 3. “I know there might be some things that feel tough at first, but you’ve handled challenges before, and I’m proud of how strong you are.” This reinforces resilience and acknowledges that it’s okay to face difficulties. 4. “I’m here if you need to talk or if something feels too hard. We’ll work it out together.” Letting your child know you’re a supportive partner in their journey can help them feel secure.

What Not to Say in Front of Your Child

Just as important as what you say to encourage your child is what you avoid saying. Negative or anxiety-provoking language can heighten a child’s stress. Try to avoid phrases like: 1. “I’m worried about how you’ll handle all the homework this year.” This can make a child feel like they’re not capable of managing their workload. 2. “I hope you don’t have the same problems with bullies as last year.” Focusing on past negative experiences can make children anticipate and fear similar problems. 3. “I don’t know how you’re going to cope with your new schedule.” This could lead the child to doubt their own ability to handle changes or new routines. 4. “I’m so nervous about you starting school again.” When children hear that their caregivers are nervous, it can amplify their own anxieties. 5. “I’m so tired of you being home all the time—I need a break!” This kind of statement can make a child feel like they are a burden or that their presence at home is stressful, which can negatively affect their self-esteem and make them feel unwanted.

Partnering with the School

Another essential component to easing back-to-school anxiety is partnering with the school. This collaboration can provide multiple benefits:

• Open Communication: Regular communication with teachers can help you understand how your child is adjusting and any areas they may need support. Being proactive in these conversations also shows your child that you’re invested in their experience.
• Shared Strategies: When caregivers and educators work together, they can share strategies that work well for the student both at home and in the classroom, creating a more cohesive support system.
• Building a Support Network: Encouraging your child to build relationships with teachers, school counselors, and peers helps them feel more connected and supported within the school environment.
• Modeling Involvement: When children see their caregivers actively involved in school events, meetings, or parent-teacher conferences, it reinforces the idea that school is a valuable part of their life.

As a caregiver, your words, attitudes, and actions play a vital role in shaping your child’s perception of school and their self-worth. By staying positive, using encouraging language, avoiding negative or stressful comments, and partnering with the school, you can help reduce both your own anxiety and that of your child. Remember, it’s about building a foundation of trust, support, and open communication that will guide them through a successful school year.

Sarah Kost-Cox is a Nationally Certified Counselor and School Counselor. She also has certifications in Accelerated Resolution Therapy, grief and loss, and law and ethics. She truly believes in Cura Peronalis, care of the whole person. She specializes in working with school-aged clients. For more information, please visit: https://allthingspossiblewc.com/.